"What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Does It Matter?"
Emotions play a huge role in shaping our lives. They influence the choices we make, how we interact with others, and how we respond to challenges. But here’s the thing—most of us were never taught how to handle them. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the skill we all should have learned growing up. It’s about recognising, understanding, and managing both your own emotions and the emotions of others.
Without EI, you might find yourself trapped in reactive patterns—snapping at your loved ones, avoiding conflict out of fear, or letting frustration dictate your decisions. I used to be stuck in that loop myself. I was great at putting on a brave face, but inside? Chaos. I was constantly overthinking and overwhelmed.
Then I began working on my emotional intelligence. And you know what? I didn’t just become a whole lot better to be around—it turned out to be the most incredible gift to myself.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is more than just understanding your feelings. It’s about using that awareness to manage your reactions and communicate effectively with others. It gives you the tools to stay calm under pressure, build stronger relationships, and make better decisions.
When you develop your EI, you start to see life from a different perspective. You’re no longer at the mercy of your emotions—you learn to take control. Instead of reacting impulsively, you pause, breathe, and choose your response. It’s a skill that brings clarity, balance, and resilience to your life.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence So Important?
Think of your emotions like waves. Without emotional intelligence, those waves can crash over you, leaving you feeling out of control. But with EI, you learn to surf those waves—to stay balanced and composed, even when life throws challenges your way.
Living with low emotional intelligence can be exhausting. You might feel triggered by small things—rudeness, rejection, or stress—and spiral into overreaction. This often leads to regret and damaged relationships. It’s like trying to navigate life without a compass.
But when you develop emotional intelligence, everything shifts. You feel calmer and more grounded. Stress becomes more manageable because you’re not constantly reacting to every emotional trigger. Your relationships improve, your communication gets stronger, and you make clearer, more thoughtful decisions.
What Happens When You Don’t Manage Your Emotions?
Without emotional intelligence, life can feel like a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. You might find yourself trapped in negative thought patterns, replaying the same frustrations over and over. Small challenges—like a difficult conversation or someone cutting you off in traffic—can leave you spiralling into anger or anxiety.
Over time, this wears you down. Your body stays in a heightened state of stress, which affects your physical and mental health. Your sleep, digestion, and overall well-being suffer. And the worst part? You might not even realise how much your unmanaged emotions are controlling your life. But when you build your emotional intelligence, you create a powerful internal shift. You stop letting external situations dictate your inner world. Instead, you take ownership of your emotional state and create more peace and balance in your life.
How to Start Building Emotional Intelligence
The good news is, you don’t have to change everything overnight. Small, intentional changes make a big difference. Start by noticing your emotional triggers. What situations tend to throw you off balance? Is it criticism, rejection, or being rushed?
Once you’ve identified your triggers, create a plan for how you’ll handle them. One simple technique is box breathing:
Breathe in for four seconds.
Hold your breath for four seconds.
Exhale for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
This helps calm your nervous system, giving you space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
The Ultimate Gift to Yourself
Mastering emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about giving yourself the tools to live with greater clarity, calm, and control. For me, it’s been a game-changer. Now, when I wake up, I set my day with intention. I choose how I want to feel and remind myself that I am the boss of me. There will always be triggers, but I have the power to pause, breathe, and decide how I want to respond.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a loop of emotional reactivity, know that you’re not alone. You have the power to change your emotional world. Small steps, repeated daily, will transform the way you experience life.
Take the Next Step with Fortitude 21
Ready to take ownership of your emotional well-being and start building your emotional intelligence? Join the Fortitude 21 program today! The app and desktop version provide easy access to resources, tools, and daily practices designed to help you strengthen your resilience and live with greater clarity and calm.
Visit Fortitude 21 now and start your journey to emotional mastery!
Take care, all the love

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