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Leveraging Lockdown Part 2: Steadying the Ship through Connection to Self

Read this if:

  • You want to understand your current levels of resilience in the key areas that relate to self;

  • You want to find out how to significantly build your personal Fortitude.

If you don’t want to do these things at at the moment, then perhaps don’t continue. You can always come back when you are ready. OK, great, you want to know more about how to build your Fortitude and 'steady the ship'. Let’s get right on with it then!

The world is in constant change, this we knew already, but what we weren’t expecting is that the change was going to affect us all in such a significant and real way. Everything seems to have shifted on such a massive scale that we must find stability and reassurance in something that is unlikely to settle down any time soon. SELF There is pretty much only one constant in life and it is that you are going to be with you for quite a while! Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever circumstances you are in, you take yourself with you. If you are in a personal tangle all the time it WILL lead to misery and in a time when control of the things we love the most has been largely taken away from us, SELF is a constant that we will always be able to use to our advantage (until such time we fully lose our minds, which is something for another post). The journey to self is another that has been documented over thousands of years, but this post isn’t suggesting you all take a grandiose self-discovery pilgrimage, not least because we can’t leave our houses at the moment. No, this post is about how to achieve certain aspects of self-reliance that are needed more now than ever. The BIG HOW

No fluff, I’m just going to get right on with it. Having something to write on and with would be really helpful now too – you have some questions to answer! There are four areas that are essential to understanding and improving your current resilience and fortitude:

1. Your identity

2. Your internal voice 3. Your personal code 4. Your connectedness Ask yourself the following questions - make sure you answer truthfully.

1) Your identity You being with you is the longest relationship you will ever have but... • Do you know you? Are you actually familiar with yourself? [Yes, no, maybe] • Do you know what makes you smile or what keeps you focused? [Yes, no, maybe] • Do you know what you’re really good at doing? Do you know the kind of things that interest you? [Yes, no, maybe] • Do you know about things in the world that you love or hate? [Yes, no, maybe] • Do you even like you? Would you hang out with yourself if you had the choice? [Yes, no, maybe] 2) Your internal voice The conversations that flow around your mind are like a track of dialogue on repeat, but... • Do you speak to yourself nicely? [Yes, no, maybe] • Are you even aware of your internal dialogue? [Yes, no, maybe] 3) Your personal code We each have things that make us unique – do you know yours? Do you know... • What your perspective is on stuff? [Yes, no, maybe] • What you stand up for? [Yes, no, maybe] • What you do not tolerate? [Yes, no, maybe] • Are you a possibility thinker or not? [Yes, no, maybe] • Are you quick to judge others? [Yes, no, maybe] • Are you naturally suspicious? [Yes, no, maybe] • Can you describe yourself in terms of character, beliefs, and personality? [Yes, no, maybe] 4) Your self-connectedness How would you describe your level of connection to yourself? 1) Stranger – I really don’t know who I am at all 2) Hostile Enemy – I know who I am and I don’t like it one bit 3) Tolerating Tyrant – I know who I am but I largely spend my time telling myself off for being a bit rubbish 4) Aloof Associate – I know who I am but I rarely spend time thinking about it and prefer to keep distracted with other things 5) The Great Pretender – I know who I am, hate it and endeavour to be someone else as often as I can 6) Best Friend – I know who I am, and I love myself. Sometimes I flow through each of the other states but I make sure I get back to best friend Did you find is useful to go through those questions? Did you find them easy to answer? Were you surprised by your responses?

Anything less than a ‘yes’ in the areas of identity, internal voice and personal code, or the answer of ‘Best Friend’ in the area of self-connectedness means that you would really benefit from doing some work to help you to improve your personal resilience. The BIG WHY Rooting yourself to yourself is something that will help you immeasurably in these times of significant change to find confidence, calm and even happiness. There is nothing much we can do except comply with the government instructions to stay at home, meaning we have lost contact with lots of the things we love. This is the time to turn our focus inwards and strengthen our relationships with self. I can and want to help you. Get in touch x

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